… You can’t answer the question “Where are you from?” in less than 10 minutes.

  • New Friend: “So, where are you from?”
  • Me: “Such a vast topic… How long do you have?”

… You’ve bought a one-way ticket before and didn’t make such a big deal out of it.

Since when did it become such a cool thing to do? If only I’d known, I would have posted it all over the place… Oh well, there’s always next time!

… Your brain is filled with the remains of languages you’ve learnt, tried to learn or failed at learning.

I’ve always wondered why I couldn’t just sleep with the Rosetta Stone CDs under my pillow and wake-up bilingual… Please don’t tell me they don’t make CDs anymore?!

… You have no idea what’s going on in your home country with politics, economy and the rest of it but from where you stand it all looks pretty gloomy.

  • Me: “Remind me, who’s the French President again? Oh yeah, that young guy. He seems nice…”
  • Friend: “How is his presidency going so far?”
  • Me: “Mmmmmm… Let me find out and come back to you.”

… You frequently rant about all these f****** visa processes.

Is that why no one talks to me anymore?!

… You can’t speak your mother tongue properly to the point that your grandma doesn’t understand you.

  • Grandma: “What did you say it is that you do?”
  • Me: “Mmmmmm nevermind, how are you doing?”

… You have bank accounts and phone numbers in more countries than you can remember.

… And keep forgetting which code goes with which card and which number corresponds to which phone. What can I say… there are only so many digits my brain can hold!

… You’re part of a tonne of local communities and expat groups.

  • Me: “I saw on Girls Love Travel that we should check out this place. Then I spoke to someone at Girl Gone International and they mentioned this other stuff we should do… But another girl from Like Minded B***** Drinking Wine disagreed… So I’m not so sure anymore.
  • Boyfriend: “Wait, what?”
… You have friends all over the world and regularly visit them.

Who would ever say no to free accommodation?!

… You feel like a stranger, a tourist or a foreigner in your home country.

  • Friend: “WHAT!? You don’t know that SUPER FAMOUS French actor…
  • Me: “Nope…”
  • [Awkward silence]

… You actually have no idea where “home” is.

What is ‘home’ anyway, right?!

… You think diversity rhymes with beauty and genuinely wish for more tolerance, acceptance and peace in the world.

I’m not just saying this because I’d like to be elected Miss World, I actually mean it…

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